The Laws of Habit

This week, we dive into part 2 of our series on William James’ Talks to Teachers on Psychology and to Students on Some of Life's Ideals.

Last week, we looked at leveraging our children’s natural impulses to guide them toward a life of impact. This week, we’ll explore key takeaways from one of James’ most famous talks — The Laws of Habit.

🎯 The Idea In a Nutshell:

• In a sense, our lives are little more than a collection of tendencies.

• When we’re young, these tendencies are pliable.

• But as we age, larger and larger portions of our character are defined by automatic reactions.

• As these fixed habits expand their dominion, they exert ever greater control over our lives.

• The goal in habit setting, then, is nothing less than defining our destinies.

• Initiative, discipline, and vigor are the keys to setting us down the right path.

📝 Diving Deeper

We like to think of ourselves as having agency — that every day we can make choices that shape the course of our lives. And James would agree… up to a point. While he did believe in free will, he also understood the indomitable role that habits play in shaping our lives:

James points out that as children, we are quite pliable. But as we age, our habits expand both in terms of scope and rigidity. Our life becomes increasingly driven by automatic reactions and subconscious impulses. Our diet. Our fitness levels. Our relationships. Our vocations. Not a single aspect of our life is out of habit’s reach.

James’s goal is to remind us: Habits shape behaviors, and behaviors shape destinies.

It’s a powerful takeaway for fathers. Doing what we can to set our kids on the right path when they’re young will pay dividends for them throughout their lives. But this is not just about teaching our kids an abstract lesson in better living; fathers must lead by example, and it’s never too late to acquire better habits.

True to the practical nature of James’s philosophy, he gives his readers a framework for making this happen:

1) Launch into new habits with as much initiative as possible:

Momentum out of the gate is key. Make a public commitment. Shape your environment for success. And then push into your new habit with full force.

2) Make zero exceptions until the habit sets in:

Rationalizations are habit-killers. Every time you say, “just this once,” you weaken the foundation you’re trying to build on. Be ruthless on yourself. Make zero exceptions, at least until the habit has fully taken hold.

3) Seize every opportunity for action:

Quit navel-gazing. There will never be a perfect time to start. Act now. Accept that it will feel inconvenient, uncomfortable, and difficult. Do not shy away from these challenges; seek them out and face them head-on.

👉 Why it matters:

• Habits control large portions of our lives, whether we like it or not, so shaping habits is the same as shaping our destinies.

• As fathers, it’s not just about building a better life for ourselves, but modeling that mindset for our children.

• Midlife is not too late; the world needs more men who are willing to do the work of relentless growth and personal development.

🤔 Prompts for Reflection

• If your child adopted all of your habits, how would you feel about that?

• What habits are shaping your life in negative and positive ways?

• What is one area of your life where you’ve become set in your ways? What would being open to change look like for you?

Make today impactful,
~Jason